The Group Contract

A Wild Howl
from me and some of the members of the first Wild Women group
(as Ruth pointed out the other day - we've been going so long our first picture is in SEPIA!)

In that very first meeting, I encouraged the group to get to know each other, dividing them into pairs and asking that they introduce themselves, telling their partner the story of who they were, including 3 things that did not include the usual subjects (e.g. what their relationship status was/what they did) but instead to share something of themselves that was unique to them, and something also that was hidden - a fear and a secret desire or wish. We then introduced our partner to the group and listened to our stories. This enabled us to meet each other on a much deeper level than normal, and also set the way for the honest sharing that is the hallmark of the Wild Women group. It also lead to the interesting experience later on of knowing the deepest thins about one another, but not knowing each other's surnames!

It was an important thing to do, and I remember feeling so honoured to share in those beautiful stories, that even then shared joys, sadness and hope.

I then asked the group to share what was important to them in these meetings, what they needed to feel safe, what they wanted to receive from each other. From this we wrote our Group Contract and this became our guide over the next 10 meetings, and also became embedded in the journey we took. It helped us to remember what we promised to each other, and also to ourselves, what we had promised by way of nurturing the Wild Woman in our souls. In many ways, it is still at the bedrock of our clan and our way of living.

So, here it is, after all these years...

We, the Wild Women agree to:

Honour and nurture the Wild Woman Spirit in ourselves and each other;

Respect each other, our needs, views, beliefs, dreams, ideas and thoughts;

Be proud of our creativity and share our creative expressions
with pride, confidence and without apology!

Work together to create a safe space for each individual to
explore, express and celebrate their unique self;

Be nurturing of each other's creativity;

Offer "loving honesty" in a positive and supportive way;

Offer validation of each other's ideas, thoughts, dreams;

Be open and unconditional in our positive regard for each other;

Be non-judgmental in our attitudes, beliefs and comments;

Speak from the I and own our ideas and thoughts;

Offer positive encouragement;

Acknowledge our own and each other's specialness;

Maintain confidentiality within the group and to be clear when we are
sharing something that we wish to remain only within the group;

Be clear and assertive with our needs and wants;

Be willing to HAVE A GO, even when it feels a bit strange
and scary, and to support each other in this!

This last one was, and is still, really important. Through that willingness to take those leaps of faith, we have discovered so much. Without it, it is too easy to remain in the comfort zone of being who we think we 'should be', instead of discovering and celebrating who we are. But the journey is one rich with challenge and reward, as we were to discover, because once you step off, you find no matter how much you want to go back at times, you can't. The Wild Woman is awake and she isn't going back!